I was going to write a (probably long) piece about how things are at the moment. As I contemplated what I was going to write this came on the radio.
As usual Dusty puts it much more succinctly than me. Its strange how often she 'appears' when I am floundering. I've loved her music for so long it's as if there's a strange link *
So...nearly 60, M.E., Fibro....so many situations where we are waiting, hanging, floundering and have no real influence upon the outcome and for me the M.E. means I have no job, no money, no real say or influence so I sort of float along fitting round everyone else because they all have proper lives and I have even less influence.
In the Middle of Nowhere.
* ...and no I'm not some deluded weirdo who thinks I really have a psychic link with an old 60s pop star...it's just odd the way she pops up at unexpected moments when I'm floundering. Maybe I should take a leaf out of her book and smash some plates, fling some flans :)
5 comments:
Not some deluded psycho? What? LOL ..... I know its been an exceptionally tough year for you but hang in there. You know probably better than most how the unpredictable ebb and flow goes with this illness .... you will pick up again and you will find new ways to contribute and feel like you have some genuine worth independent of other people. I have seen first hand what an extraordinary person you are and what amazing talents you have to offer when times are good. xo
So good to hear from you, Cusp, but so sorry you are feeling so down and in the middle of nowhere. I call that feeling being "in limbo," that state of resting and waiting and waiting and waiting.
But the truth is you ARE important and do have a role in this world. I'm sure your family feels that way, and you have certainly been missed among the Spoonies lately!
Hang in there. I know how hard it is during these rough periods. Hopefully, you will perk up a bit soon and be back to your own version of "normal."
Miss you!
Sue
Hi there, I just found your blog..ugh, I've been there. I think I can offer some hope. I write a blog about how I recovered from CFS/Adrenal Fatigue. Please feel free to check it out and see if it resonates with you...I did heal after a three year long battle of being very, very sick. My blog is themedianofinfinity.blogspot. com. I hope you feel better soon! This time will pass!
Hi M of I. Thank you for checking in to my blog and your comment.
I have read your M of I posts and, reading between the lines, wonder if you have been following the Gupta programme or maybe even the Lightning Process or something like it ?
I have had M.E./CFS for over 40 years. I was diagnosed 14 years ago and encouraged to do the things I love, exercise etc etc. Because my children were very young at that time and I had lost my career, money etc and I was scared and desperate I followed that advice. I went from being nearly bedbound to bedbound for almost a year. I simply was not well enough to exercise or do any of the things which bring me joy -- I could just about manage to keep breathing and, with help, eat.
I'm so glad that your experience has been different to mine. I know there are people for whom the Gupta training, the Lightning Process etc. etc. is a miracle. I know someone personally (who live 3 miles away) who had M.E. for 15 years and used a wheelchair for 4 years. She followed a Lightning Process course for 3 days and was walking/jogging a 5K charity event within 4 months BUT everyone's experience of what is called CFS and or M.E. is different and so I always advise great caution when people who are very, very ill try to get better through the sort of methods you advise.
As I said, I'm genuinely pleased that you are better and can take up life's challenges and joys again. I understand how that sort of liberation engenders an enthusiasm to proclaim that you have found 'the way'. If only it were the same for all of us with M.E. Sadly, the path you have found to wellness does not always lead to the same destination for others.
Thank you for sharing your journey x
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