Today I learnt that Kate McGarrigle has died. She was one half of a duo: singing with her sister Anna. Together they wrote the most beautiful songs and, for me, they filled the mid and late 1970s with lyrics which were pure poetry. They spoke to me and filled my head with sweet and heart-rending images. Nowadays Kate is better known by the younger generation (if she is known at all) as the mother of Rufus and Martha Wainwright. For me Rufus is too affected, too ornate, too hysterical, too arch and too knowing. He is the opposite to his mother and aunt who seemed unaffected, genuine, sincere and humble.
Every time another of my heroes dies I feel the loss deeply.
Heroes have always been important to me. They shine a light on part of myself and influence the way I see the world, They inform and protect me by showing that there are other like-minded people: that I'm not alone, misguided, lost.....and now another is no longer with us.
Some say a heart is just like a wheel
When you bend it, you can't mend it
And my love for you is like a sinking ship
And my heart is like that ship out in mid ocean
They say that death is a tragedy
It comes once and it's over
But my only wish is for that deep dark abyss
'Cause what's the use of living with no true lover
And it's only love, and it's only love
That can wreck a human being and turn him inside out
That can wreck a human being and turn him inside out
When harm is done no love can be won
I know this happens frequently
What I can't understand
Oh please God hold my hand
Is why it should have happened to me
And it's only love and it's only love
And it's only love and it's only love
Only love, only love
When you bend it, you can't mend it
And my love for you is like a sinking ship
And my heart is like that ship out in mid ocean
They say that death is a tragedy
It comes once and it's over
But my only wish is for that deep dark abyss
'Cause what's the use of living with no true lover
And it's only love, and it's only love
That can wreck a human being and turn him inside out
That can wreck a human being and turn him inside out
When harm is done no love can be won
I know this happens frequently
What I can't understand
Oh please God hold my hand
Is why it should have happened to me
And it's only love and it's only love
And it's only love and it's only love
Only love, only love
Only love, only love
This of course is one of the trials of getting older: the longer we stay, the more people we have to watch leaving and I'm reminded of my elderly grandmother who, at nearly 90, had lived too long. After another bad chest infection and another long spell in hospital she turned to my father and said 'All my friends have gone. There's nobody in the street who I used to know anymore. I've had enough. I'd like to go now'...and she did. I don't want to go yet but I could do without watching the others leave.
*There's a lovely piece here about Kate's death with tributes from her children and sister
*There's a lovely piece here about Kate's death with tributes from her children and sister
8 comments:
cusp we really do share music taste! I totally agree on Rufus. In fact you've articulated what I could never quite put my finger on. But yes, arch and ornate. Jeff Buckley for me is another one. Histrionic even at times. Perhaps Rufus will mellow and stand with both feet on the ground in time. Sadly Jeff drowned before he got the chance. I'll have a listen to Kate.
I have loved the McGarrigle sisters for many years, still have a scratched record of Pronto Monto - and I share your feelings about Rufus. Thanks, because I was beginning to think I was the only one casting a cool eye on his persona, and never as blown away by his music as everyone else seems to be.
But they belong to a certain age too, don't they - Kate and Anna? It is perhaps not as easy now for women to be unaffected, genuine, sincere and humble. We got to be Feisty the whole damn time, innit. Not that they weren't that too, but you know. It expressed itself in exquisite eccentricity.
It's good to know that two of my best blogging chums appreciate the McGarrigles as I do ... and that I'm not the only one who doesn't fuly appreciate the rather affected Rufus (thought I might be shot down in flames for those thoughts !)
You might like to have a look at the lovely article which appeared in yesterday's Times where Kate's children and sister speak about her death and the imapct it is having upon them. I have added a link to the piece since writing the original post.
I hate losing people like this --- even though I donlt really know them because their work is so tightly woven into the fabric of my life and memories and my development as an adult. Whilst they are still here I feel that there is an invisible thread, umbilical cord. When they go I feel another rope has been cut from my moorings and I am nearer to drifting away myself.
I didn't know anything about Rufus Wainwright's mother, but what a clear beautiful voice she has. I felt sad though, just listening to her for the first time, knowing she's gone.
It's true, we'll have to say good-bye to many people. I am the youngest of eight children, I've already said good-bye to one brother 14 years ago. I don't look forward to it.
Thank you for sharing the story of your grandmother's boarder. It really touched me, and expanded the story of Rosa Parks. It is this kind of story telling that keeps us connected with history - the milestones that become pages in history books and can lose their power without it.
Thanks for dropping by Ruth. I'm an 'only' but in its way its as hard to say goodbye to family and friends who passover because it means there are so few left. I have my partmer and our children but no other relatives left alive apart from one cousin who I hardly know and isn't really interested in keeping in touch or family.
I'm glad you appreciated the story about grandmother. I ws afraid I'd written to much but I too feel it's really important to share that sort of family history. She was quite formidable actually and very strong. The bedrock of all her judgements was her faith and she judged people on their charcater and actions rather than their colour etc.
I hate death.
I didn't know she had died til I read your post. How very sad, she was not old. I didn't really know her music, am a big fan of Martha & Rufus, & saw Loudon Wainwright in concert in early 80s - when I was a wisp of a thing! - with my hippy boyfriend.
Oh, I loved the McGarrigle's music; had not idea she was the mother of the Wainrights. Kate's death makes me feel like a dancer w bruised knees.......
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