Keeping up

So what have I been up to since last we met, you ask ? Lazing in the sun, sipping juleps and Pimms ? No actually. I've been keeping up. In actual fact I have been keeping a secret from you because I have been part of a study made by the MUS (Medically Unexplained Symptoms) Dept. of my local hospital. I shouldn't really tell you more and certainly not show you some of the Report but as it is between us and some of the report is about me, well, .....why not.....just between friends

'Keeping up' is a distinct behavioural mode in the subculture of MEwhirled. This sub strata of Western society and culture is composed of a small and ill defined group of women, men and children who suffer with a condition whereby they can see a world (what we usually call 'normal life' or the 'primary world') moving in front of them and have a desperate desire to join in but who also feel that they are moving within a different time frame with a different set of rules. They feel that they are moving at a slower pace than the primary aworld and are unusually plagued with guilt, mood swings and a need to placate and please those in the primary world.

The behaviour known as 'keeping up' shows them enmeshed within a particular set of fine and gross motor movements which induce aches, muscle weakness and, occasionally a very nasty headache. They are, in effect, making feeble attempts to match the pace of those movements and tasks seen in the primary world (a futile exercise ). In doing so, they feel that they are being whirled round on an ever-faster carousel --- the primary world --- which rushes past as they try to keep up. This whirling effect has given rise to the aforementioned term 'MEWhirled'.

Such intense behaviour can lead to subjects exhibiting a certain irritability as their futile behaviour continues and frustrates them. Their large intestine and bowels may manifest this general irritable demeanour through constipation, diarrhoea, vomiting, flatulence and an intolerance to certain foods --especially the really nice foods such as bread, cakes, chocolate and alcohol.

In recent studies it has been shown that 'keeping up' is particularly common in people with ME who are parents and carers of young children. It also seems to reach a peak at particular times of year -- especially within the hottest summer months and the Xmas period. These two peaks may overlap and this has led experts to posit the theory that 'keeping up' is linked to full-time parental responsibility during school holidays. In particular, the full time responsibility is also linked to a phenomenon experienced by many parents in the general population. This phenomenon is called 'keepingthelittledearsamusedandoutoftroublewiththeminimumoffussandargumanets.'

So you see I have been 'keeping up' and rather than being smething I just do or feel I do it's all legit because now the local MUS Dept has made a study and written a report about it so it must be kosher.

It's not all bad. A lot of it as been enjoyable and fun, if a little tiring.

Since the beginning of last week we have taken part in:

• Sports Day


• Achievement Day: this was 'made' for me by my son playing the recorder for the first time and a little boy in Year 5 who looks a lot younger than his age. He just about managed to sing 'Whistle a Happy Tune' through floods of tears and snot induced by terror at the thougt of singing in front of an audience. 'Whenever gasp I feel sniff afraid, slllurrrrp, gag, snot, I keep my head erect, sniff sniff.... etc)


• End of term school (s) disco (s)


• End of term Youth Club disco


• Buying new sandals


• The local 'French Market'; a jolly and colourful experience but one which leads to a certain sense of disillusionment since many of the articles for sale are wildly overpriced, not french and are served by people who have never crossed La Manche from this side. Still it is tres amusant to see saucisson sec being flogged from a stall in Stowmarket High Street and to hear some of the real french stall holders with their lovely sing-song english. 'Mercimadame'
  
• Making a new skirt for daughter


• Helping son paint old bike and get new saddle so he can flog the old bike and get money for a NOW 70 CD from which he wishes to play Dizzee Rascal at full pelt on the car stereo
  
• Helping daughter make cake


• Going on train to nearest big town (only the second time in 7 years) and then sitting on station platform at nearest big town, spending exorbitant amount on National Express fare (all part of the experience --home made sarnies just don't 'do it'), and watching son drawing trains, taking photos of trains and noting down times of arrival and departure before returning to home town (15 minutes down the line)

• Village fete with dog show where our neighbours' dog won' Dog with the Biggest Grin'. We didn't take Tiffin as it was too hot and he's really struggling in the heat. I also bought 5 foxgloves and 3 heliotropes for £1.40

• Calling ambulance and helping elderly neighbour and who had fallen and broken his hip and whose wife was in real shock. Process took so long and happened at time of day when I would usually be asleep so that, at one point, I thought I might 'flake' and the ambulance would have to accommodate both of us ;0)

Now to you other mortals in the 'primary world', this little list mapping out some of the activites with which we have been involved over 9 days, might not seem a lot. It is just ordinary fodder for the parents of children on school hols .....but for PWME it takes a lot of juggling and patience and organisation and love to get through. It also takes the children a lot of patience, maturity and understanding to have a parent who cannot keep on going ad infinitum without having a 1-2 hour sleep in the middle of the day. My children are such children and I love them all the more for it.

So far we're doing OK and I'm trying my best to rest when I can and grab little bits of 'me time' --- like now.

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I wish all peoples with children who are on holiday a calm and pleasant few weeks.

May you never argue, lose your list of possible activities and outings (you have got such a list haven't you...Woman's Own has been recommending it since about 1959 I believe), run out of easy recipes for amusement or tea.

May you never be bothered by thunder flies which tickle and irritate and get inside next door's burglar alarm and set it off so that it alarms all and sundry and rings for what seems like eternity.

May you never lose your patience with CBBC's endless, endless, endless repeats of Tracey Beaker, Stupid, Best of Friends or Big Kids.

'It's too nice outside to be sitting in here watching that stuff. It isn't as if you haven't seen it a million times already. Go outside or go and find something more constructive to do please'

Can you tell I used to teach ?

I'd never 'keep up' now