What I did on my holidays

Well the half term hols are over and I'm sitting here trying to re-group my thoughts and faculties

It was a good week

We went en famille for a brief sojourn by the seaside. I rather overstretched myself and had a little 'dip' midweek but it was good to be somewhere else, involved in everything and pretend, for just a little while, that I was like other parents.
The weather was bright, sparkling and bitter cold but that didn't matter because we were having new experiences

Later in the week it was Halloween of course and the children and their friends spent the whole day making a revolting feely box as part of their trick or treat. We dressed up and 'hit the village', gleaning a ton of sweeties.

I made a lovely topical dessert --- Bloody Eye Pie.

Here's the recipe should you wish to replicate:

Take 8 digestive biscuits and crush with all the force that a PWME, mid half term holiday can muster (you may need help)

Combine crushed biccies with a large tablespoon of butter and as much brown sugar as children will tolerate in a pan over a low flame, until the butter has melted and combined with bics and sugar

Press the mixture into a shallow bowl and leave to cool. Meanwhile, search out your eyeballs. At this point in the school break you may feel they have already been burned out but persevere dear reader and attempt to wend your way to the local sweetie shop where you might purchase a good facsimile hand crafted from a ton of sugar, pigs gelatine and a shed load of additives and colouring. Once home place an eyeball at bottom of bowl

Make up a pineapple jelly with a little too much water so it will set all sloppy. Don't forget to add green food colouring in order to reach the required amount of unnatural ingredients in whole (you could use lime jelly but this would be cheating).

Retire to bed for a sleep of at least 2 hours. Upon rising, make a cup of tea and drink whilst watching trash TV. You need all your faculties and skills for the last lap of culinary delight.

Mash jelly and place over eye in bowl and all over rest of biscuit case. Decorate eye with black icing so that it has lashes, styes and spiders on edge of bowl.

Take a bottle of strawberry syrup and squeeze liberally all over dish so that it resembles oozing blood. Serve with a side dish of Phlegm and worm sauce (cream cheese with icing sugar, lime green colouring and cold cooked spaghetti)

Nigella...eat your heart (or eyes) out