Fund Raiser for severely affected Suffolk woman.

I really hate it when people who are suffering, ill or in need have to tout their stories round and almost beg in order to raise sufficient funds for treament or resources which might imporve their life. Only a few doors away we have a young man with Cerebal Palsy whose family must tout his story and arrange gigs in local pubs in order to try and raise funds for a special wheelchair which will improve his life no end.

Yesterday I was alerted to the story of a young woman who lives a few miles away from me and who is very severely affected by M.E. and bedbound. Jenny Rowbory became ill with ME in 2004 at the age of 18 when she contracted a virus during the first term of her course at University where she was studying medicine.

Recently she attended the Breakspear Hospital in Hemel Hempstead where a treatment programme was drawn up for her. The cost of the 12 week treatment plan is £35,000. NHS funding was applied for but rejected. Jenny has written a poetry book 'Rainbows in my Eyes' and is selling it to try and raise the funds needed to pay for her treatment. You can go to her website to read more about her story and buy the book. You can also donate additional funds.

For Ruth: Silver Threads and Golden Needles

Here's Dusty again. You'll be getting sick of her if you're not keen but I love her and always have. I'm putting this one up for my new blogging chum Ruth who liked the last video.

Today I'm looking after a recuperating son: small op. yesterday and third visit to hospital since last Friday. The patient is sitting up and taking notice and we are enjoying ;O) all the re-runs of 'Heartbeat' and 'On the Buses' and other daytime telly that I never usually watch. We are also enjoying plenty of Playstation. The boy is incredibly hungry (a good sign) so I am also on frequent snack duty and hot water bottle duty and all the other duties that are part of the convalescent's requirements. We are trying for recovery by Thursday so we can attend the School Carol Concert Dress Rehearsal.

I shall stop here because the bird in the nest has his beak open again and my laptop is playing up yet again --- on its last legs and driving me crazy with all its idiosyncrasies.

* BTW I am being plagued by all sorts of comments from strangers hither and yon offering me no end of strange medicaments for sexual prowess, money making schemes and no end of other stuff I do not want or care to know about. Does anyone know how to deter such miscreants and turn them away ?

Island of Dreams

A very young and carefully enunciated Dusty...bless her cotton socks .

'Island of Dreams'....what a beautiful image

Music For A Found Harmonium

Oooohh I love this

Wot I dun on my 'oleedays

Here I am again ! Cooeeeeee! Over here..the one with the slightly askew demeanour and slightly careworn appearance. That's what a 7 week school holiday break can do for you. Yes that is correct dear reader: I did say SEVEN weeks. Much as I love my children, seven weeks is a long time to fill and seems longer when you're not particularly chipper. There were ups and there were downs and at times it was a real struggle but I'm still here and ready for another day.

We made cakes, we decorated furniture, we went to fetes, we helped at fetes, we bought a lovely swing seat and we avoided, cursed and annihilated a lot of wasps (what good are they ?? ..hateful beasts). I managed to make it to two of the four wedding receptions to which we were invited and we had friends round for Sunday lunch.

I also cursed this wretched illness, cried and swore because I couldn't do many of the other things I longed to do with the children and never made it to the seaside which is only 15 miles away.

I did manage to get to the doctors to verify that I am not diabetic (though it is borderline), got my eyes tested and had a crown fall off whilst chewing a vitamin --- s*d's law ! These might seem small things to many people but they were on a list of things to do and at least I achieved them. You have to look at the positives.

And now we're back to the old routine with children at school, partner at work some days and me trying hard not to give into feelings of ill health and unsteadiness so that I can do the things that need doing and do some things which bring pleasure.

I've realised that since the relapse at the beginning of the year I have taken quite a downturn and lost confidence. Some of the feelings of ill health are in fact feelings of anxiety: fear of what will happen when I try to do something simple like going to buy a pint of milk at our local store (a five minute drive). These are not panic attacks but simple fear about what will happen based on other real incidents when I've felt genuinely faint or sick or giddy. I have to overcome these feelings or I shall sink further into the mire. I just can't do that.

My doctor is still pushing me to take the anti-depressants. I still hesitate. I have been trying everything I can to avoid taking them: will power, herbal stuff, EFT, positive affirmations, homeopathy. I am doing more and I am winning but it's a real struggle and I sense that I am weaker than I was before the relapse but I will not be beaten.

There have been other aspects of self-discovery but that will have to wait for another post.

For now I battle on and I'm trying to re-establish some kind of routine so I am more involved with the day-to-day e.g I had had to give up collecting my daughter from school but now I go however I feel. I'm hoping that gradually I shall get back to where I was a year ago. That wasn't exactly Olympian athlete standard (ha! ha! ) but I was more out in the world and less fearful of how I'd be from day to day because there was more constancy.

The past few months have been more of a roller coaster; having no idea how I'll be from day to day or even within a day. I have to admit that the uncertainty and extremes have got me down of late...and watching my partner and children being able to go off and do things I cannot this summer has really brought home to me how much I miss.

Maybe that was a good point about the Sertraline: that it 'took the edge off' as my GP said and I didn't realise the reality or severity of what was going on.

I do now.

Do I want to ? I don't know really but having now known it I cannot un-know it and even with Sertraline the knowledge will not evaporate.

I'm stuck and I'm sick of the struggle but I will come out of it....eventually.


In the meantime enjoy this lovely Gigliola Cinquetti song ' I Have Too Tender a Heart'.
Sometimes it feels just like that

Non ho l'eta - Gigliola Cinquetti

Who said nothing good ever came out of Eurovision ?

Stevie Wonder-Never dreamed you'd leave in summer

Not much time or energy to post in the summer holidays but I do have time to share some of my favourite songs.

I've loved this Steveie Wonder track for years. I used to have it on an old Stevie compilation album in the 70s and played it repeatedly.

I was reminded of this song because Stevie Wonder sang it at Michael Jackson's Memorial and even though I watched the whole 'circus' of Jackson's funeral with cycnicism, watching Stevie struggling to get through such a poignant song at what was, for him, a very emotional situation, brought a lump to my throat.

Gladys Kinight and the Pips: Walk in my shoes

Time for a lighter post. Sad sentiments in the song but my oh my what a voice Gladys Knight has and what passion! I can never listen to this just once.

'It's all we've got' he says.

Why is it that there seem to be so few doctors who will a) look at the whole picture b) enable patients to try treatments other than those which they (the doctors) specifically agree with ?

These questions and others are the result of the first appointment I have had with my GP for eight months.

As I've said before he is a lovely chap: quiet, sensitive, (appears to be) listening, calm and friendly BUT he is not pro-active.

In all honesty I only went to see him because my Pensions Company have sent me the usual 6 monthly 'greeting card' asking how I'm getting on, will I return to work soon ? have I done any trampolining/ sky diving/ pot-holing ? do I intend to make a trip anytime soon to any part of Africa on a mercy mission for a charity and transporting myself there on a unicycle ? The answer to all the above is, of course, 'No.....I have not , cannot and its very unlikely I shall be involved in any such activities for the foreseeable future.' Still they have to ask and then when they have asked they double check that I'm not capable of work etc. etc. by asking my GP and asking him to complete another form --- which, if I ask ever so nicely, I can see before he sends it off....so I do because I want to know what's being said about me. Except that for the past 7 or 8 months I haven't bothered to see him because he's ineffectual and in the past 6 months I've felt like death so haven't been able to get to the surgery: all our conversations have been by phone. Every symptom I've had has been put down to M.E. or fatigue or anxiety.

Four days ago I finally went to see him and the form. I felt like death warmed up but I had to go no matter what (the form was going to be sent off the next day whatever happened). The form was fine(ish) ..he hates them as much as me and puts as little information as possible. The meeting was warm and friendly as usual but nothing ever shifts. We never move beyond the third place on the game's board. That's why I rarely see him. It's like a stale relationship where there's nothing left to say.

I went through the past 6 months -- so he knew what its really been like and can put it on the form --- and told him all the gory details. I asked him about the recommendations of Dr Myhill (B12 injections, more thyroid tests), the hypoglycemia ---which he insists is not hypoglycemia but fatigue and weakness --- the upset stomach and about all the talk about M.E. maybe being related to health of the gut and the place of probiotics.

Everything was met with a negative response: 'No', 'It's not been proven', 'etc. etc..
All I was offered was SSRIs (anti-depressants) - the same ones I weaned myself off last year.
I was offered (and reluctanatly accepted) them eight years ago and I'm being offered them again now because they apparently help with IBS, sleep patterns, anxiety: so not especially because of any depression. Although it has to be said that after the past 6 months I've got a bloody right o be depressed ---well more pissed off really and angry and frustrated. Still the pills are his answer --- to everything.

'It's all we've got' he says.

It's all we've got. Is it ? What about all the other stuff I just mentioned that you've just dismissed ? What about taking a chance to see if any of them might make me a bit better. I can't access any of those treatments without a GP's agreement so I'm stuck ......and I'm sick of it.

The last six months have been a total wash out. I'm nearly as far back as I was eight years ago.
Every day is a struggle and when I try to get out and about it's hell. Every trip, every journey is torture because moving and traveling is so hard for me. My memory is shot. My ability to talk for any length of time, to be creative (even if it's only bloody sock monkeys and fairy cakes) is gone and the blood sugar problems , orthostatic intolerance, fatigue, problems with sight and hearing continue and I'm sick of it. I'm even too unwell to get to my Reiki healer or to the osteopath. I've given up so much these past eight years and spent so much money on vitamins, herbs, consultations and I'm still stuck here ploughing on with no real medical support. It's all hit and miss.

Maybe the slow decline over the past nine months is down to lack of Sertraline. Maybe if I start taking them again it'll all come right (yeah right !!!) or maybe it's coincidence and I'll stay the same as I am until fate decides I should get a bit better and then I'll be on bloody anti-depressants as well.......but what other option do I have when there are no other doctors about who have a more adventurous approach. I've asked around about other GPs in the practice and other surgeries too and nobody knows of anyone better. So it's better the devil.......and I fell I should just roll over and take the tablets like a good patient. Maybe he's right


In the meantime there is talk that there is a specific probiotic which may be very helpful to people with M.E. (see links in last post) : only available in America but, as it's my birthday soon, I have decided to spend $77 on myself and have some shipped over in the hope that it may move things on a tad.

Any port in a storm

M.E. Haiku

Fly in a glass jar
Always looking at the world
E'er at one remove

I decided not to bother with the test. As it turned out my computer went wrong and then the printer; meaning that first I couldn't receive the email with the order form and then when I could I couldn't print it off. Sometimes these things are meant to be.

In the meantime, other people had ordered, received and taken their tests and many had ordered two so that they could take one and give the other to their 'control' who was healthy. Often the results came out exactly the same e.g. the woman who is severely affected and her husband who is a mad-fit sportsman who can cycle 100 miles in a day. I thought 'I shan't bother' --- mind you that's becoming a running theme at the moment if I'm not careful: too many hills to climb.

On the bright side I've saved myself €15/£13. Also, there is still interesting research and talk about possible connections between M.E. (and other conditions) and the state of the intestinal flora. You might like to have a look at this and this if that's your bag.

I might try to get hold of the recommended probiotics and see if it helps: any port in a storm.

It's all a load of p*ss !...or is it ?

There's another whiff of (mild) excitement on the M.E. front for a Belgian doctor has developed a urine test for M.E./CFS. It's cheap (£15) and available from today.

Of course there's also much scepticism for we PWME'rs have heard all sorts before but, heh, the theory makes some sense and for £15 and a quick whizz I'll take a chance.

I've heard so much piss in the wind about this condition over 35 years that this can't be any worse and it's not painful.

If you want to know more there's a good article in today's Telegraph.

If you want to order the test go here

Dolls to Nicaragua

If you've a mind, you might like to mosey on over to CraftHope.com.

It's a site about a web-based project encouraging people to make items for disadvantaged and children. The current project is about making rag dolls for children who live in an orphanage in Nicaragua.

I made this oneAl the dolls had to have brown skin, brown eyes and black or brown hair so that they resemble the children who will 'adopt' them. I didn't have any brown material to hand so I dyed some calico with coffee and vanilla. She's got black wool hair from some boucle wool I had over so I made them into a pony tail which looks kind of dread-locky. She's not perfect but Craft Hope isn't looking for perfection --- just simple items made with love.. In the past they've needed clothes.

I think it's a lovely idea and even though I had to send the doll to the US for shipping off to Nicaragua it only cost £2.50

If you've time and a needle and thread go and take a look.

Life's little trials and tribulations

It's been an eventful few days and I feel like I am being tested and coached through life's little hurdles.

The first event relates to TDS (The Dental Saga). For a couple of weeks, one of the teeth that needs removing has been grumbling away and giving me real 'gip' with pain not only in that tooth but into my sinuses and jaw. You'll remember that last month I received the news that my dentist said she could not deal with all my medical issues and was going to refer me to hospital...so I was trying to stall the tooth problem with Ibuprofen and homeopathic remedies.

Last Wednesday I could stand it no longer. I had managed to struggle to my son's school to see him in the Summer Term play and in the midst of Act Two my tooth decided to launch into a real attack to the point where I felt physically sick --bastard tooth ! I was pretty wiped out by the whole experience but after a lot more Ibuprofen I got through another day of waiting and hoping the whole thing would go away. Stupid Cusp ! Got worse and I was forced to confront the issue so that late Thursday afternoon I found myself phoning the dentist and asking for an emergency appointment. Friday afternoon was the appointed hour.

I knew that Conscious Sedation was not going to be an option because
a) I am unable to comply with the two hour fasting rule and
b) that treatment option needs to be pre-planned...so I was just going to have to tough it out.

Cue sleepless Thursday night and much resting Friday morning.

Friday afternoon came and off we went --my partner driving us there because I knew I would need to be driven home. This isn't any old tooth ---it's a nice big fat lower 7 (the one before the wisdom). Very scared and brave Cusp enters room and (to spare you the gory details) emerges rather wobbly 30 minutes later 'sans' tooth.

I am now rather sore and a bit bruised but also rather proud of myself. Unfortunately at some point I shall have to go through the same process twice more but at least I have managed to get to the dentist and have the offending item removed. It can only be good for my general health and I am resting as much as possible in order to try and stave off any ill effects.

The second event is more about the flow of life's river really and the trials and test that confront you once you have children. Today my youngest (who is nearly 11) left for 5 days to go on a school trip to the far north-east coast.


She will be hundreds of miles away (further than France ..as one helpful teacher pointed out) and not back until Friday evening. She is nervous but incredibly excited and looking forward to what will be a fantastic break after all the hard work of the past months for the dreaded SATS which she took last week. I have been anticipating and dreading it for weeks. I have not been really able to think about it without tears coming to my eyes.

has been away before...sleep overs and even for 3 days when she was Year 4 (two years ago) but not so far. She is at a point in her little life where she is on the cusp (!) between childhood and teenage years but in many ways she is still a little girl and she is my baby. It breaks my heart to put her in the care of strangers for five days and let her,what seems, so far away --especially when we have been specifically told not to contact the children unless it is an absolute emergency because to do so only increases the risk of them getting homesick. This is sensible stuff and I know this is another step in letting her go into the big wide world. She must go and I must let her spread her wings and face all the joys and tribulations of living her own life. In years to come there will be a trip further away, University, making her own home, finding a partner......and this is part of the process.

I know she'll find it hard at times and I am reminded of myself at almost exactly the same age going on a school trip to Scandinavia on a ship for 10 days. No mobiles, no letters, no phone calls in 1967....we got on the ship at Tilbury and were gone. As a parent now I can see how hard it must have been for my parents and grandmother to let me go. They were going through what I must go through now.

I can still see them waving me off...smiling and then probably getting back for a good old weep in the Austin as it made its way home. I wrote about that trip once before. I remember the hard bits, the homesickness, the homesickness of other children and feeling so, so far way from home bobbing about on the North Sea in April and seeing seals and dolphins and fjords and the lovely Norwegian people.......so warm and friendly. I remember it all in such detail and despite the difficulties I remember all the good bits too and that's how it will be for my daughter...a lesson in how to survive and be alone, being independent, enjoying self-reliance and savouring the good times.

She'd better send me a postcard , God love her !! ;0)

Eurovision: Apres Toi ~ Vicki Leandros

As it's Eurovision weekend I thought I'd post up a song from 1972 sung by wonderful Vicki Leandros.

Just shows how the the quality of the songs has deteriorated over the years. Last night I was up at 2 a.m. and came across the semi final of this year's spectacle in Moscow. Never have I seen such a load of old codswallop (well I have but only on Eurovision over the past 15 years or so). It seems they now try to make up for the lack of songwriting quality by wearing funny costumes and having acrobats twirling round or skaters skating or strange oversized props.

Blogging for M.E. Awareness Day: Just keeping in Touch

Hello my dear,

You've been so busy lately. Searching everywhere for something.

I'm not sure what it is you're hoping to find but I doubt you'll find it anyway. Sorry I don't have any clues for your search. Still, I am sorry that all your efforts have kept us apart. I enjoy our little conversations:it's really not the same when you pretend to only pay me scant attention.
After all you know I'm never very far away.

I like to keep in touch and I'm always here

should you find the need to talk

feel my prescence

the touch of my hand.


You and I have been through so much together.

****************

Do you remember when we first met ?

You were only 18: your whole life before you.
You thought a few days, even weeks off school might be quite nice: a chance to duck the pressure of 'A' levels and the relentless monotony of school.

Bet you never thought we'd form such a close bond and I'd still be around when you're in your fifties.

Of course, the irony is that whilst you continue to age, I never grow old really.
You grow older and less strong. I remain vigorous and able to maintain my grip.

****************

I want you to know that despite what other people might say I really do enjoy watching you go out.
You go ! I'm not stopping you.
I'm only just around the corner anyway and you know I'll be here at home when you get back.
I wouldn't want you to be lonely
Just so long as you tell me where you're going,
how long you think you'll be,
who you'll be with.

I wouldn't want to lose you, now would I ?

We wouldn't want to lose each other.

I'd be lost without you and you wouldn't know where to start without me after so long.

****************


Oh, by the way, I noticed that you've been taking those tablets again.

Who sold you those then ? ...................that person in the health shop ?

I don't think we should trust her.

She's very nice...well meaning, but honestly she'll only come between us.

I don't think she likes me. Can't think why.........


__________________
No.
I've decided.
I don't want you to see her anymore.
She's trouble

.........and that doctor who told you to rest up in the day: resting will do you no good.
You should just plough on with whatever it is you want to do.

***************

What's that ?

But you get so tired........exhausted ?
Your muscles get all achey and you can't think straight ?
You feel all confused and foggy ?

You're imagining it.

It's all in your head.

You're neurotic.

The trouble with you is you're weak; don't know your own mind

That's what I mean when I tell you to rely on me.
I can be strong when you are weak. I'll be your rock.


****************


I do know better, really I do ...for all the right reasons.
I know what you need better than you do yourself.
You know you can rely on me...even when other people have let you down
Haven't I always been there for you ?
I keep my promises.

Look what happens when you've tried to go it alone, when you've listened to all those experts, all those people who say they can help you: you're lost.
You need to pay attention to me.
Even when you think I've done something to you or for you that's bad (as you see it)
it's only because I love you,
because of this strong bond we've developed over all these years.

****************

If you'd only stay close by none of this trouble would happen.
You're always trying to give me the slip.

Don't think I don't know, don't see what you're up to. You want to get away from me.
I've told you before we're good for each other. We need to stay close.

I was made for you.
We were made for each other...hand in glove.
Together forever.

Don't disappoint me by trying to escape.
I've given you everything you have.
That's why I feel so hurt when you want to see other people,
do other things,
spend proper time with your family.


It's only because I love you...you do see that don't you ?


Don't go off again looking for something better.
It's not out there anyway.
Those other people are charlatans set on breaking us up.

Better to stay here with me.
We know each other so well.

All that stuff outside....not a patch on what we've got.
Stay here and I'll never leave you.
Nobody knows you like I do.

*****************


What's that they say ?

'Better the devil you know.'

Well I'm not exactly a devil am I?


You know who I am.....just myself...just ME

If you haven't read the post below please do.
Yet another person with M.E. has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
I cannot tell you how much this angers and saddens me.

Brain Nicholson: another person with M.E. sectioned under the Mental Health Act

As we are about to go into ME Awareness Week you might like to be aware and spare a thought for poor Brian Nicholson who has been sectioned under the mental health act for delusional illness beliefs in relation to ME.

Brian also has POTS and it seems that, having failed to gain proper medical help and treatment, he was effectively abandoned by medical professionals. Brian then tried to help himself by upping his intake of water (which is partly helpful for people with POTS). It was then thought that the amount of water he was drinking was dangerously high and warranted a diagnosis of abnormal illness belief and subsequently sectioning under the Mental Health Act

What an appalling state of affairs. Pray to God he doesn't end up like poor Sophia Mirza

If you want to know more about Brian, support him and let him know you are thinking of him visit the Support group at Facebook


Sometimes the psychiatric profession have a lot to answer for with their imperious manner and delusional belief in complete and infallibele judgement.

Awful or not ?: Tina Charles - I Love To Love (1976)

Part of me thinks I really should regard this as awful old schlock because it's so repetitive and because of Tina's hard voice but I still love it for all the memories of warm summers and nearly falling off my platforms when I was going out on the town in the 70s.

Happy Times and a happy song

Awful Songs No. ? lost count :Jeane Manson - Roses of Picardy

Aha....caught you ! Just when you thought it was safe and I'd forgotten my thread about awful songs I decided to reawaken the beast.

I absolutely detest this song. That's probably more to do with memories of it on a school trip (and, no,even though it's a very old song I wasn't at school in 1909 ). There's just something about it that grates.

Now I WAS going to treat you to the Vince Hill version ('Edelweis's is another pet hate...especially his version) but that little gem is now off YouTube: perhaps the nice people at YouTube decided it was kinder to spare their customers such a vile and hideous rendition.

Anyroadup...I then came upon this version which is altogether more awful for not only have they chosen a dreadful tune but they have then given it
a) the whole 70s disco-y treatment and
b) given that treatment a kind of sickly ickly makeover in a way that only the french know how when they do their own version of Variety. One day I'll treat you to a Claude Francois video, if you're very good, and you'll see what I mean

Oh you lucky people ! Wherelse could you find such schlock !

Enjoy !

(Don't you just love those poor herberts prancing about at the back of Ms. Manson: camp as a row of tents)

Properly stuffed now !

Warning ! This post has been written in a spirit of exasperation, anger and general fed-upness. There may well be words contained therein which could offend the meek and gentle. I don't feel meek or gentle at the moment so if you possess and exude such qualities, please desist from reading the post below as you may be offended by 'language'.

If you have been dropping by for some little while you may remember the ongoing saga with the old gnashers. Bloody Teeth !

Amongst the notsofragrant days of recent past there have been my rather pathetic and inept attempts to have three teeth removed

No, Silly, not removing them myself, though that might be one solution --but to get myself to a dentist who will remove them for me.

Now for anybody else, the removal of teeth may be daunting but not terribly complicated. For the person with M.E. it is not so straightforward. Nothing ever bloody is for the person with M.E.

After much soul-searching and trepidation I did get myself to the dentist in November to ask eversonicely if she could accommodate a poor quaking soul such as I (who doesn't like dentists at the best of times) and remove said offending gnashers -- but gently and nicely. After some discussion it was agreed that the probable best course was to put me in a dreamlike state known as Conscious Sedation and a date was set for February.

December came and went and likewise January.

Cusp was poorly and not well at all -- certainly not well enough to have gnashers ripped out --dreamlike state or not.

A new date was set for March.

By this time Cusp was a little better but having all sorts of complicated symptoms thanks to low blood sugar and having to eat every hour and nothing too sweet or carb-y. The useless doctor refused point blank to bandy words like 'hypoglycemia' or to offer any help so it was up to me to try and sort it on my ownsome.

And then .......it was at this point that the nice dentist let slip that actually you had to fast for two hours before having the nice dreamy drug prior to removal of teeth. She had not mentioned any of this in November.

Cusp was cross and felt led astray with a false promise.

This was a great blow for I had put a lot of faith in this modus operandi for extraction. The new morsel of information which she had forgotten to impart made me think that all was lost:
there was no way I could fast for two hours before she set about me plus fast for another hour or two whilst she extracted and I came round and got home
.....so I cancelled at the last minute and she was everso cross but courteous

(Do you think dentist have a special ability to speak nicely through very white and perfect gritted teeth ?)

I wrote a very apologetic letter and said maybe we could think of another way ---- even including me being everso, everso brave and 'just' having a local anaesthetic and her pulling the nasty buggers: thus no fasting just courage (Mon Brave )

I have waited a month now and yesterday morning I received a letter in reply saying she likes me everso much but really I'm just too bloody complicated and difficult to contend with health-wise so please can she shake me off her books and refer me to the hospital.

I think that may be a caring way (and she is caring) of saying 'Sod off, you're just too much trouble and you keep cancelling and wasting my time and money'. Fair enough really. I'm sure the likes of PWME are a nightmare for the dental and medical profession.

To her way of thinking hospital referral seems my best solution. For me it is all the more terrifying for you see, dear reader, hospital probably means general anaesthetic and PWME don't want to touch GAs with a bargepole as they have the potential for spelling BIG TROUBLE :long, long recovery, relapse and all sorts of nasties; especially if you are already trying to climb the slippery slope up from a relapse already ......like moi.

So....proper stuffed now

....and what do I do ?

....No idea.

I have written to the dentist again asking if she might refer me to the Community Dental Team who deal with all manner of complicated buggers like me on a daily basis.

Will they have any idea about what to do with me ?

Probably not but it's worth a try

What a mess

OH, I WISH I'D LOOKED AFTER MY TEETH
by
Pam Ayres



Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

I wish I'd been that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.

When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.

My Mother, she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.

Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite!

If I'd known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fiIlin's
Injections and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.

So I lay in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."

How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

HAPPY EASTER

I hope you all have a lovely peaceful, warm Easter full of chocolate

Many thanks for all your messages of positive encouragement.

They mean a lot to me

I am getting there but slowly

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