Done and dusted. Onward and upward

Well Mohammed has been to the mountain and returned from whence he came. Two and a half hours of going through every tiny detail of my life from when I was 3.....50 odd years; scraping about under my carapace until I feel like a crab shell in the dustbin of seafood store. Hope he got what he wanted and, no doubt, though he was a very nice fellow he will now go back and write what he would have written even if he'd never met me face to face i.e. that if I just have the right sort of CBT and the right sort of GET then I can be reinvigorated ready to resume my career and pay my own bloody pension premiums. We shall see. Thankfully there are some trick-cyclists who recognise that M.E. is not a psychiatric disorder, or depression or all about fatigue and I thank Dr Speedy and good old Nasim for pointing me in the direction of this psychiatric sage. Trouble is she (the sage trickie) is in Canada and that's a bl**dy long way for someone with M.E. who finds it mega hard to even get to Ipswich U.K. Never mind. All part Of life's rich tapestry....cliche, cliche, cliche.............

On a much lighter and more positive note I would also direct your esteemed attention to a very uplifting project. The lovely Kirrily Anderson in (I think,) Australia has brought together a whole bunch of creative types who also happen to have M.E. and gathered their work into a very well-produced online magazine/book. Take a look at Creativeforasecond and you can download a free copy for browsing or buy a hard copy. Great positive stuff and more of what we PWME need.

Past Present Future

Well what can I say ? It's been a long time and, in the small way of a life with M.E., quite a lot has happened.
There were trips out and visits from relatives during the school hols and at the end a lovely short break right by the seaside. I know how much the seaside means to me but it wasn't until we were finally there that I realised just how much I'd missed the sounds and smells and sights of the shoreline.
Now we're back to the routine of school and work and domestic duties and the holiday is a lovely memory. I feel slightly different and more in tune because during my break away from you all I was also coming off the low dose of SSRI I have been taking for the last 7 years. Such drugs are often presctribed for PWME and, initially, during the shock of becoming so ill and losing so much they were useful. Over the last 3 years I've pleaded with my GP to support me in coming off --- but to no avai. Finally I asserted myself and spent the summer holidays gradually tapering the dose. Now I'm finally free of the chemicals and life is more real -- the good, the bad, the ups and downs but I feel more connected.
Next week I have the visit from the Insurance psychiatrist to assess whether or not I am geniuinely physically unwell and unable to work or whether I have a condition that could be turned around by CBT and Graded Exercise so I can return to work and pay my own pension premiuims. Mmmmmm.....wonder what he'll decide ? Answers on a postcard please.
I bet I know already. Sadly I have to go through this charade or they've threatened to leave me with no pension at all and cut me off.
Lastly, the summer was made more enjoyable by the publication of Nasim Jaffry's book 'The State of Me' A brilliant read that can only do good in terms of letting to worold know how it os to live with M.E. but in the most charming, involving and humorous way possible.