Dear Reader,
You may notice that this post has no line breaks. This is not because I am a numpty but because, despite numerous attempts, Blogger is a numpty and will not put them in.....bl**dy Blogger !!!!!
As you'll see from below, We are in no mood for piddling about with Blogger today so We have posted the damned thing anyway.
My apologies if you feel that you need new eyes having scrabbled to the end of this post.
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A quick post and a fierce change of recent tone:
Someone came round today (mother of daughter's friend) and in conversation asked what I did i.e. job. I said that I no longer worked as I wasn't very well most of the time...my stock reply which tells the truth but doesn't go into the details.
Many people are either satisfied with this answer (they don't really care about my employment situation and they were just making conversation) or are too embarrassed to ask for further details in case I say I have something they can't cope with ---- like leprosy or syphilis etc. etc.
Anyroadup this lady really did want to know and asked for specific details so I told her:
'M.E.'
'That like M.S. then ?
'Well no not really.... a bit..'
'What is it then ?'
'Well, I get really tired very easily and have all sorts of aches and pains and catch infections very easily and have troubles with balance and memory and allergies and things ?'
'Like that neurone thing ?'
'Motor Neurone disease ?
'Yeah'
'No not like that either'
At this point she turned to my partner in such a way that her body language said she had shut me out completely. In the past she has always treated me as an equal (though given this incident I'm not sure that is a compliment !)
'Ah....you the carer then ?'
Partner: 'no...not exactly........'Cusp' looks after this place and the children and I go to work....'
I had been ignored and brushed aside as a 'cared for'. I could have flattened her.
As my anger was beginning to subside a friend of my son's came through the garden gate. As you may remember he has learning disabilities and this friend (K) goes to the same school.
'She his little friend then ?
'Yes'
'Goes to the same school does she'
'Yes'
'Ah....got a touch of Downs has she... ?' (this within easy hearing reach of K.)
'No she doesn't have Downs Syndrome'
'What's wrong with her then ?'
'Well I think she was born with brain damage'
'Ah....poor little thing....all the same though aren't they ...not well (in the sense of ill health)
...if I had one I've always said I'd still look after it just the same...can't help it can they..'
'Go on W. (her other child) go and say hello to her...you can watch her if you like.....'
(As if K is some kind of exhibit..........)
At this point I had to go indoors in case I picked up her lighter and set light to her as a metaphor for the fire raging within !!
Dear reader, my indignation is not because I now have a chronic illness which some would consider makes me disabled, nor is it because I have a son with various disabilities. I spent many years working with disabled people long before my son was born and long before I became ill enough to give up work. My indignation is at the ignorance and insensitivity of this woman.
Where do these people come from ?
Where have they been in the last 25 years? On Mars ?
Have they not noticed attitudes changing ?
Have they not seen or understood that we are all people who deserve respect and consideration regardless of disability, colour, age, religion etc. etc.
I am now in a very difficult situation since my daughter is very fond of her friend and she is, in fact, a very sweet and well-behaved child (so to give her her due, this wretched woman must do something right........oh Christ why do I always have to be so FAIR !!!!!).
On the other hand I'm not at all sure that I want my daughter around people with these sorts of attitudes.
Here is the thorny predicament of the parent not being able to choose the child's friends and letting them go out into the world and discover the dangers and dodgy attitudes for themselves.
I want to protect her...........................
