Changing the subject I am perplexed by a dilemna.
How does someone with a chronic health condition attempt to move on when progress is impeded by bureaucracy and the need for profit over welfare ? (There, told you it was a change of subject)
The matter in hand: last week I saw a job advertisement for a vacancy as a display assistant in a local High School. Having nearly fallen off my bed to think the County now pays people solely to put up displays, I thought....
'I could do that'
'It's only 6 hours a week'
'I might be able to manage that'
'I should at least try'
'I might begin to be perceived as a real person out on the world'
'There could be face to face contact with adults other than my partner and a few Mums at the school gates.'
I sent off for the application form and job description. Upon receiving it I nearly faltered at the first hurdle: one of the listed requirements for the job was
'Must be able to maintain and use staple gun'. (I kid you not)
After 5 years at Art School I wasn't sure about this but I screwed up my courage and thought 'No, I may be just a chronically fatigued numpty to some people but I know inside me there's a real professional staple gunner just dying to get out.'So dear reader, I applied myself to the application in hand. This was a daunting task for a job of only 6 hours a week for, being a County Council post, I was required to set down my entire personal, education and employment history with two references and a police check if I was successful.
After over an hour of form filling I was 'done in' --as is the common parlance hereabouts.
I thought, do I really want all this hassle? But, I decided to climb that mountain and forge that stream.
Having completed said form I began to worry, as is my way, and I thought I'd better just double check this job will not affect my benefits.
No. It was OK.
Then I thought ' ..but what about the nice people at the Insurance and Pension companies who have agreed to waive my premiums because I am/have been/ can be so poorly and who regularly hassle me with long forms asking me, my GP and the hospital consultant the same questions about whether I'm better and whether I can/when I shall return to work ---and pay my own bloody premiums?'
There is the rub, dear reader. I thought I cannot ask the companies themselves about a maybe, possible toe-in-the water attempt at being a 'real person' again for 6 hours a week, for they will be suspicious. They have been known to employ covert beady-eyedness.
No, I shall ask my financial/insurance-y chum who knowsaboutthesethings.
He said he did know .....and any sign that I was perhaps and maybe able to do any voluntary work or limited paid work would be seen as the perfect excuse to make me pay my own bloody premiums (at this point nearly £100 per month) so I was best to screw up the job application and forget the whole thing unless I wanted to put our family budget in jeopardy.
So beware my PWME (or other chronic health conditiony) chums. In the eyes of insurance companies etc. you are apparently ill or well, black or white, working or not working and there are no areas of grey
I shall go back to being a numpty who feeds chickens, makes sock monkeys and seeks out obscure 1969s German girl groups who look like Dick Emery in drag. To be honest I wa snever sur ein the first place. Despite judicious pacing, Reiki, herbs, vitamins, prayers to all the Saints and a few daily blasphemies, my energy is still not 'tip top' or 'band box' and all activities must be approached with great care, cunning and forward planning, BUT I was prepared to try and give it a go.
N.B. For years I did pay own premiums because my ex-employer was too stingy to provide a pension. I also forked out for critical illness cover so it's not like I feel I'm sponging off said companies --- just getting what's due, ---- but I would like the opportunity to try to be in the world again without the risk of messing everything up --- health and budget
6 comments:
ok, here's a job: "Must be able to post up bizarre youtube videos and be willing to seek out 1960s German girl groups who look like Dick Emery in drag." Sod the bloody staple gun, you are needed here, woman. Keep imposing!
But really, this is the more bizarre - if it weren't so like ridiculous, crappy real life. To have been able to call yourself a professional staple-gunner would have been something though. Yes.
Anyway - lovely post.
I love your obscure video's I was there too.
it must drive you round the bend being treated like this, if you had the energy in the first place'
hugs and energy to you
pxx
I understand Cusp, because my partner became chronically ill around 8 years ago now and has gone through a similar journey.
'covert beady-eyedness', yes the insurance company played some dirty tricks on Mrs Kahless too.
(I won't swear on someone else's blog.)
I ditto signs, keep imposing!
Thank you all three. I feel vindicated and shall conitnue to occasionally delight you and anyone body else who cares to peruse my blog with the strange delights of YouTube schlok.
The work/health business is a true conundrum. The DWP would have been quite willing to let me put a toe in the water without it compromsing my benefits but the profiteering companies will do anything to wriggle out of paying their due. Their stance really does seem like profit over welfare to me but then I suppose that's business
Probably no comfort at all to know its the same in Australia. Only out here, its Centrelink, our social security department, who jump in and make it incredibly hard to try to do a little bit of work. They don't seem to realize how terrifying it is to be so financially dependent and so vulnerable. Let alone so poor!
How frustrating, but at least you were prepared to give it a try and that counts for something.
I sometimes despair at not being able to earn a living, although this week I've not even been able to leave my flat to collect the post from the mailbox downstairs, so that doesn't exactly augur well in the employablity stakes. I wish I could go out and earn a living, a real living.
There isn't really any in-between, is there? If you do a little bit, you lose the lot.
Still, you have your 'voluntary work' to do here, finding these brilliant videos. I suppose you could be an 'archivist' or even a 'curator'.
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